A Day in the Life
by snarkysweetness
Summary: Result of 4 teens writing a story in guitar class while bored. Rating for implied drug use, a scene with the scarecrow and the witch, and the usage of the F-Bomb. Chapter 2 Up!
1. Chapter 1

Summary: Our guitar teacher asked us to write a story about our life so me, and my friends Shawna and Clarence came up with this to amuse ourselves. It is a stoner fic basically to make fun of them.  
  
A Day in the Life  
  
One fine day I was walking down the yellow brick road on my way to Little Red Riding Hood's crib, and suddenly Puff the Magic Dragon jumped from the treetops and tried to kill me, but all he could get out was an aromatic smoke. So I ran to Red Riding Hood's house, went inside and just before I closed the door, Puff the Magic Dragon shrunk in size and flew in through the peephole and continued to try to burn me alive, but his flames were absent and all that came out was more of the fragrant smoke.  
  
I started having a cough and after a while of that he got agitated and tried to hit me but was stuck in slow motion. Then grandma came out of her room and wanted to make us some brownies.  
  
Inspired by her idea, Red, Puff, and I went into the kitchen. Bored with the pitiful snacks, Puff got irritated and magically transported us to a cabin in the woods, and to our surprise, the cabin was made entirely of gingerbread, and a foundation of icing.  
  
In our hunger, we all scaled the cabin and started on the roof. I got through first and saw a young witch making love to the scarecrow. Toto was the first to spot me atop the roof looking down upon them. Then with a magical effort he was able to open his mouth so wide that he would've been able to swallow a skyscraper in one gulp, and he ate the cabin and all of the inhabitants  
  
Walking home to eat the brownies, I saw an unusually large white rabbit with a pocket watch telling me I was about to be late for guitar class, so I ran all the way to school, got to class, and sat in my chair just before the bell rang, and here I am today.  
  
The End (for now) 


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: Ha-ha I'm back with the next installment of this completely insanely insane fan fiction co-written with my friend Clarence, Shawna (who sadly moved to Oklahoma, tear), and Garrett (who is no longer in guitar with us, tear). Enjoy.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the fairy tale characters parodied in this fic as I failed to mention in the last chapter. I also do not own "Willy Wonka", or an mentioned candies, if I did I'd be rich, filthy stinking rich, which I'm not.  
  
Chapter Two  
  
While in guitar class Mr. Jeffrey decided to teach us a song called "Frankie and Johnny". I thought it was a little queer that we were singing a song about two guys who were lovers. I decided to ditch and when I got outside I saw a peculiar site. It was the same Witch and Scarecrow but this time the Witch was praying on her knees in front of the Scarecrow who was looking up at the Sun. It looked like he was in heaven.   
  
Then suddenly flying monkeys picked me up and transported me to a place I had never been before. When I landed I was really tripping out because there was a river of dark water. I then heard a grunt and turned to see Puff. For some reason I was really happy to see him.   
  
He had a plastic bag around his head and was breathing smoke. He then went to the river and began drinking it up. I got closer and realized that the water was actually chocolate!   
  
Me and Puff then saw a large building and walked towards it. The only problem was Puff was now blowing so much smoke that I couldn't see ahead of me. I started to feel really funny again and really hungry. We got to the building and I saw that it was a candy factory.   
  
  
  
Once inside I realized that it was not just any candy factory, it was the Willy Wonka Factory! I then saw the river of chocolate and realized that it must run outside. Suddenly a dozen or more fat midgets ran up to us and were singing in annoyingly high-pitched vices. The song sounded something like this:  
  
"Oompa Loompa,   
  
Doobies for you,  
  
I got another bongo for you,  
  
Won't you come with us and see  
  
The northern Lights few have ever seen?"  
  
We followed the little fat midgets and they were dancing and stumbling around as they laughed uncontrollably.   
  
Puff told everyone to shut up and gather around. He scared those little midgets to the point where they had one sock turn yellow. Puff then began blowing more smoke than I had ever seen in my life. He looked like a smoke stack spewing every direction until nobody could move. He then told them of our story of our trip to the Gingerbread House.  
  
Then out of nowhere a giant blueberry came out and squashed half of the midgets. It was okay though because the rest of the midgets ate her after that. We all realized we were really hungry after hearing the story and watching the Blueberry be eaten.  
  
Puff and I were taken into a room filled with Gum Drops, Gobberstoppers, bubble gums, and candies of all sorts. Puff and I knew we had to get one of these rooms. That being said we started to explore the room. We saw a door and thought nothing of it. As we passed by it a Willy Wonka emerged from the door with a strange squirt gun. It looked as if it could be insulated and could hold something hot or cold.  
  
He yelles "Get the fuck out of my factory!" and shot me with some very hot fudge. By the way, did you know that icing is white? The fudge tasted funny. Puff got really pissed off. Instead of blowing out the aromatic smoke he blew out a different kind and Willy Wonka went crazy. We decided to get the fuck out of there. But before we left, we took all that motherfucker's candy.  
  
It's a good thing Puff's magical, he made the candy float. We had some fun, my teeth hurt now, but it's all right. I think I better take a nap, my tummy don't feel too good.  
  
The End (for now) 


End file.
